How to be an it girl on instagram
How to Pick Up Girls on Instagram (aka how to make real life IG friends)
Instagram is an amazing place to connect with people, and I’ve made wonderful, genuine friends through the app.
I’ve noticed trends and patterns with the people who I interact with on Instagram. There are those who I want to get to know better, and those who I do not. I debated whether to even write this blog, but after I casually mentioned it to a few friends and they immediately wanted to hear about it, I decided I needed to write it.
So here it is: my personal step by step process or how to pick up girls on Instagram.
While this post is titled “How to Pick up Girls on Instagram”, this post is really for anyone who wants to make friends through Instagram. Whether it’s a brand that you admire, an industry peer, or someone you genuinely want to get to know better, you can use these steps. These steps are from my personal experience with the app, and have not been tested otherwise. While this process does not just apply to guys trying to pick up girls through Instagram, for the remainder of this post, I am going to put you, the reader in the position of a guy, and then I’m going to use the pronoun “she” to represent the person you are wishing to befriend. I’m going to give you the task of replacing those pronouns with ones that make sense for you.
Sound good? Ok let’s go.
The goal of this entire process is the employ the Know Like Trust factor with the person that you would like to befriend. First she must know who you are. Then she must like you. And finally, she must trust you enough to take the relationship beyond the app and into real life.
So let’s get started.
All 3 of us met on Instagram, and then did a creative photoshoot together for fun.
Part 1: KNOW
The first part of the process is to get her to know who you are. The KNOW phase has 3 steps:
Step 1: Follow her
To get her to know who you are, you must start by following her. Following does 2 thing:
When you follow her, she will get a notification that you did so. She might click on your profile to see who you are. If you’re lucky, she might even follow you back.
Second, her content will now show up in your feed, which makes it easier to interact with her content, which brings us to step 2…
Note: Make sure your account is set to public! If she gets a random follow request and can’t see who you are, the likelihood of her following you back is much lower.
You should also make sure your account represents a true version of yourself that you would be proud for her to see.
Sep 2: Start by liking her photos. Get to know who she is by what she posts.
You have to engage with her content if you want her to ever know who you are. Liking is likely not enough to get you even noticed, but it’s a start. Read her posts, and learn about who she is by what she chooses to share. Pay attention if there is a certain thing that she talks about a lot.
Step 3: Engage with her content. Start commenting on her photos every couple days with thoughtful comments that relate to the post, and the information that you have learned in step 2.
Now that you have a sense of who she is, start really engaging with her content. Comment on her photos, but be strategic. Don’t comment on every photo, and it’s important that the comments are relevant and genuine. I cannot stress this enough. The comments should relate to the photo, and to what you know about her.
For example, do you notice that she seems to share a lot of photos of her cat? Next time she posts a photo of her cat, write a thoughtful comment about how great you think her cat is. If you notice that she uses Instagram as a business tool (ex, photographer), ask a question about her work, or comment about what you think she is doing well. Don’t lie, but comment as if you were talking to a real person, because you are.
Watch closely to see if and how she is replying to your comments. Is she engaging with you in return? Watch to see if see if she follows you back, or genuinely starts engaging with your content. If she consistently and genuinely engages with your content, that means she knows who you are, and it is time to move on to phase 2!
Notes: The more followers she has, the longer it will take to get her to notice you, even if you are commenting regularly. Do not give up though! Consistency is key. Consistent, meaningful comments will stand out, and she will eventually notice you.
It’s also important that you start with commenting rather than DMs. If you go straight to DMs, she may not even see the message if it goes into the request folder. You don’t want to be that guy sliding into her DMs with a random message when she has no idea who you are.
I met all of these lovely people at an InstaMeet.
Phase 2: LIKENow that she knows who you are, you need to ensure that she likes you.
Deeper engagement: reply to her story every few days
Continue liking and commenting on her photos as in phase 2, but it’s time for deeper engagement. Watch her stories and reply to them every few days, much like commenting. The benefit of replying to stories is that the reply will take you to her DMs, where you can have longer, private conversations.
Start by sending simple, relevant replies to her stories. Ask her questions, send a few words, or send emoji responses. Then continue short, easy conversations about the story.
Example: She posts a video of her cat playing with a string. You could reply with “Wow! Your cat is so playful! How old is your cat?”
After replying to a couple stories, you can also send her a DM not in response to her story. Just make sure this DM has a purpose! Ask her a question about something that she is interested in. Send her a photo or post that made you think of her.
If she seems willing to talk to you, and typically answers conversationally when you send her a message, it probably means she likes you. Now, this does not mean that she LIKES you romantically. It just means that she probably likes you for an Instagram friend. If she likes you, it’s time to move to phase 3: TRUST
If she often doesn’t answer you, or doesn’t seem to want to continue conversations, continue with the KNOW and LIKE phase.
Phase 3: TRUST
Once you feel confident that she knows you, likes you, and trusts you, it is time to take the relationship off Instagram and into real life.
What’s the best way to do this?
If she is answering you regularly in DMs, move short conversations into longer conversations. Move away from talking about stories and Instagram, and start talking about real life. Keep asking her questions, but try to steer the conversation into real life topics. If she consistently keeps the conversation going, and asks you question in return, it is likely that she trusts you.
At this point, I recommend asking for her phone number so that you can communicate more easily. Try asking in the middle of a good conversation. Something like “hey, do you mind sharing your number so that we can keep this conversation going more easily?”
If she says yes, congrats! You have officially made it to the end of the process. the future is in your hands now.
If she says no, you can continue with your efforts, but it may be best to move on and accept that while you can be Instagram friends, you may not ever move the relationship into real life, and that is ok!
There are billions of users on Instagram, which means billions of opportunities to make acquaintances, create solely digital friendships, and cultivate genuine relationships that will continue way beyond the app.
Here are 2 photos of me with my friend Flora! We met at an InstaMeet, and have been friends ever since.
How To Talk To & Meet Girls On Instagram
Relationships
"People enjoy quirky daily things much more than they do another video of you eating a $100 meal."
28 February 2022 by Max Langridge
Instagram is a romantic place. Just by looking at someone’s pictures you can tell whether you love them or not (cue ‘Love Is In The Air’ by John Paul Young).
So, now that you’ve fallen madly in love, how do you date the Instagram girl you’ve never met? Well, much like Einstein, I like to solve life’s important questions. And much like E = mc2, INSTA = LOVE.
Now let’s say for this example, it’s the common Instagram equation: you follow her, but she doesn’t follow you. The short term goal is to get on her radar and perhaps even get a “like”, the long term goal is to get a “follow back”, because on Instagram if two single people follow each other, they are basically married.
It’s the law.
We hit up a comedian (Ash Williams) and a dating coach (Chris Manak) to get the all important tips on how to get that all important follow back (and a date):
#1 Avoid Instagram Clutter
According To A Comedian
Some girls have over 500,000 followers, so you’ve got to stand out from the crowd. The best way to do this is to ONLY like the posts that nobody else does. For example, she might gram a pic of a chair or a glass of milk and it’s not “popping”. So “like” the picture, and if you are feeling adventurous perhaps comment, “nice chair” or “I love milk”. Once again, anything to get on her radar.
According To A Dating Coach
In a time when everyone is plastering their Social Media with more and more “high value” shit they’re doing, I think what is most attractive is capturing and sharing what you genuinely enjoy doing in your life. Keep it light-hearted.
Don’t try so hard. I’ve had endless clients over the years slather their Instagram with photos in expensive restaurants, with beautiful women, looking off into the distance from the bow of some sailboat, and still get nothing from the ladies.
Of course, some of this is fine, but it’s very obvious when this is not your real life and you’re running around looking for opportunities to present to the world some bullshit version of yourself. You win the game by not playing the game. Be genuine.
#2 Go Stealth
According To A Comedian
Go on her page but don’t like anything, be like an Instagram ghost. Your main objective of going stealth is to get a figurative feel for her hobbies and interests…perhaps she likes kittens or orange juice; whatever it is, you are gathering valuable information. If you feel the urge to click something, then take a screen shot, but don’t be a weirdo by going deep in the profile and liking her Thailand pics from 154 weeks ago.
According To A Dating Coach
If you accidentally like an old pic: don’t do anything. Definitely don’t DM her and try to recover it. What’s done is done, just let it sit. She might even wonder about it, like when you ask a girl how her night is going in a bar and then walk off.
#3 Be Diligent
According To A Comedian
Take notes of which cafes she likes to go to. These are now your favourite cafes – I once travelled interstate for a girl I loved on Instagram (but had never met). I went to her favourite cafe for three consecutive days and I am now talking to this girl.
According To A Dating Coach
Test out a joke/tease in her Stories. Don’t comment on her public photos like every other chump, and for the love of god, don’t tell her how beautiful she is or put the flame emoticon. There is a girl on my IG that I will just constantly say “Doesn’t match” to any clothes related Story that she posts. She hates it, but it gets a reaction every time.
#4 Take Acting Lessons
According To A Comedian
You will need to be a strong actor when you bump into your “Instagram girl” and act as if you know nothing about her when you actually know EVERYTHING about her.
According To A Dating Coach
No comment.
#5 Private Message
According To A Comedian
Yes you can private message on Instagram. Send a tasteful pic – not of your favourite body part – of the ocean or some sand. The picture will be so relaxing that she will think she is on holiday and should respond promptly.
According To A Dating Coach
Treat it exactly like getting a phone number. Build some rapport first. Don’t necessarily try to ask her out in the first contact (a super common mistake guys make with phone numbers). Contact her, have a chat, leave it (unless it takes off from the get-go of course). When some time passes, contact her again, have a chat, ask if she’d like to catch up then if she is as receptive as the first time. There really is no magic to it.
“There is a lot to be said for a man who isn’t in a rush.”
#6 The Closing Act
According To A Comedian
Good luck. By using these tips you should end up married…or in jail.
According To A Dating Coach
On Instagram, amuse YOURSELF first and foremost. Just post the fun and weird shit that you see in your everyday life. Make a bit of a joke of the whole thing. Just yesterday I posted a Story of a table that I walked past that had a “Free” sign posted to it. I had clearly missed out because the table had nothing left besides a few leaves that had fallen onto it. I posted a photo captioned, “Free leaves! Shit yeah” … and even that got DMs.
“People enjoy quirky daily things much more than they do another video of you eating a $100 meal.”
RELATED: An Instagram Model Reveals What It Takes To Slide Into Her DM’s
Follow DMARGE on Facebook
Follow DMARGE on Instagram
How to start a girl in IT?
5/5 - (2 votes)
Girls conquered IT a long time ago. In some areas, there are a preponderance of girls in others.
If you have an ability or a great desire for something, then of course there is no gender distinction in IT. This is a modern stream and, accordingly, sexism is absent here as such.
Those girls who are just starting their career in Aichi and do not yet know all the directions are advised to choose a certain list of professions. Going straight to a programmer because they make an average of $6,000 is not a good idea. Of course, you have thoughts: “Why am I worse?”, “Sit clacking on a laptop, what’s wrong with that?” In fact, to become a programmer - you need to go a long way. If a girl chooses this direction from fleeting feelings, then in the middle of the way or earlier, the question may arise - “Why did I go here at all?”. nine0003
Most acceptable IT jobs for girls:
- SMM.
- SEO.
- WEB-designer.
- Graphic design.
- PM.
- Copywriter.
- Sales manager.
- H.R.
Of course, you can add site layout and QA testing to this list, but most of the girls are not in these professions, and they are not quite suitable for starting.
The first 5 directions are taught at our school Lemon School - these are IT courses with employment. Training takes place in Kyiv, or online throughout Ukraine. For the fair sex, this is a great opportunity to start a career in Aichi. Now let's take a closer look at each of these specialties. nine0003
IT for girls - HR and Sales manager
For those who want to get into the IT field without noise and dust and who have experience in recruiting or sales, these directions will be ideal. You don't even need to study to get a job. It will be enough to delve a little into the sphere and you are in IT.
Wages here average $800 and can reach $2000. The main skill required here is communication. Both recruiting and sales of services are female professions in IT by about 70%, since the remaining 30% are male. nine0003
Or maybe SMM?
In this profession, you will promote projects in social networks, post, expand your audience. SMM is much easier to master than SEO or any other type of marketing, which is why this profession is currently leading in the choice of girls.
SMM specialist receives $500 at the start. You need to be a fan of social networks, then the work will bring you pleasure.
It should also be taken into account that the influx of girls in SMM is large, so getting a job is not as easy as we would like. Against the background of competitors, you need to stand out in some way, and if you are self-taught, then it will be difficult for you to find a job ... Anyone can create a post on Twitter, but making a 10% conversion by correctly setting up targeting is already a task with an asterisk. Another thing is if you take SMM courses with employment at Lemon School. You will learn various tricks, and the best students, if there are vacancies, will receive a job offer from the ArtLemon web studio or partner companies. nine0003
Copywriting and SEO promotion
If we talk about more technical specialties, we recommend applying to copywriters or SEO. With copywriting, it will be easiest for girls to start their activities in IT.
The essence of this direction is writing articles by retelling + you need to know some technical points. A month of self-study will essentially give you the opportunity to start working. Copywriting is a great foundation for mastering SEO. Search engine optimization is already a fairly voluminous profession and it will be difficult to learn it on your own. To save time, we recommend enrolling in SEO courses. nine0003
Project manager
This profession is not considered technical, so mastering it would also be the best option. Girls should know that this specialist communicates with clients and organizes the work of the IT team. You need to be able to communicate and know superficially about all areas in Aichi. The work is quite stressful, but as practice shows, it is girls who find it the easiest.
WEB-design and graphic design
In the first case, you will work in special software, such as Figma for rendering web sites. Graphic design involves working in Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator.
Here you will start creating logos, banners, and other elements that are ubiquitous on the Internet. nine0003
These IT specialties for girls are good because of the predispositions to see beauty. If you went to art school or everyone praises your style in clothes, or you see this world differently, then design will be a real find for you.
Girl in IT, or 5 tips for the ambitious / Sudo Null IT News
I believe that the scheme of success is the same, regardless of gender. The differences and specifics of the "women's way" will be at the end. If someone is only interested in this part, feel free to scroll to the last section. nine0003
At the end of last year, I was invited to speak at the Worldwide Conversation on Women’s Higher Education and Equality in the Workplace at the HSE Department of Computer Science. This is a conversation about how in the modern world a woman can build a successful career in the field of science, education or information technology, what difficulties she faces and how she can overcome them.
I was a speaker "from the side of IT" and told, as it seems to me, quite obvious and self-evident things. But, sharing my impressions of the event with friends and colleagues, I discovered that the topic is of interest to many people and they treat it very differently. It was after this that the article was born. In it, I will talk about my experience of developing a career in an IT company and what I consider important to do and what, on the contrary, to avoid in order to become successful in my business. nine0071
How to succeed in a modern IT company?
So, here is my list of actions for a successful career "building":
Thinking
Of course, this is not about when you lie on the couch, dreaming about how you will organize your company and live happily ever after. You need to think proactively. Decide in which particular area you want to develop and continue to act: independently study specialized literature, attend courses, etc.
A lot of motivating articles, books are devoted to this topic, we have been told about this since school - there is not much new to add here. For reference, a couple of examples of books that were useful to me personally:
- Stephen Levitt Freakout. Non-standard approaches to problem solving”,
- Eliyahu Goldrat “Goal. The process of continuous improvement.
Chat
It's about those same soft skills. I know from my own experience that when you stop “doing everything with your own hands”, the ability to build a dialogue, accurately convey your idea to the interlocutor and justify your point of view sometimes becomes even more important than your own professional skills. nine0003
I know of several examples where the most experienced member of the group was appointed as the leader, and after that the work of the whole group went downhill. The person could not clearly explain the task and motivate colleagues to complete it.
As a result, he spent extra time himself, redoing tasks for his subordinates, and they suffered on the sidelines, seeing that their work simply goes to the dump.
Further, different scenarios are possible. Here are a couple of them:
- a disappointed subordinate quits quietly and the company loses a good employee,
- or he tells HR about an unhealthy situation (by the way, soft skills are also needed here!) And the problem is solved by competent replacement of the head.
In start-up companies, when one person combines several positions, the lack of soft skills among the “tops” is felt especially acutely. So, a familiar general director of an IT company told me that they almost lost a major client due to the inability of the service station, which acts as a pre-sale in this project, to conduct a dialogue. He had to urgently connect on his own and negotiate with the client on the terms of the transaction, including technical aspects.
nine0003
Therefore, developing communication skills is important and necessary. Teaching helped me a lot. While still a student at the Faculty of Innovation and High Technologies of the Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology, I worked as a tutor in mathematics. When a student sincerely does not understand what you are asking to calculate, you look for other ways to explain to him what is required of him. And then you try to find the right words, telling parents about the current successes and abilities of their child. It helps a lot to learn how to be patient with different groups of people. nine0003
Now at work I need to communicate with developers, other Product owners and managers, foreign colleagues from Sales and Marketing, partners and clients. People from these groups have a completely different technical level, so they have to speak a different language. But most importantly, they have different expectations from the conversation. For example, a salesperson is not interested in hearing about what kind of ML algorithm is used in our SDK to find strings in an image.
It is important for him to understand whether this technology can be applied to solve a specific client problem. And the developer, on the contrary, is important technical details. Past teaching experience helped me a lot to learn how to properly build a dialogue with both. nine0003
Believe in yourself
Don't expect everything to be perfect all the time. Firstly, everyone can make mistakes, but this does not mean that one mistake will be followed by others. In any situation, one should not be afraid to act, believe in success and make every effort to achieve a result.
Secondly, innovative ideas do not always find support right away, which is why it is so scary to propose them. And it can also be difficult to understand that things that seem obvious to you do not occur to others (everyone is different!). nine0003
For example, it was very difficult for me to overcome myself and start boldly expressing my ideas at general meetings.
It seemed that since no one suggested this, then it was definitely some kind of nonsense and everyone would just laugh. But no! It happened that people simply did not think “in this direction” and a fresh look helped to find a solution faster.
"Believing in yourself" sounds easy, but it's very hard to learn. I was greatly helped by the support of friends and relatives, who always gave an honest assessment of actions and judgments, were ready to listen and support. It is important not to be afraid to openly tell people nearby that you need their help, and tell them exactly what. However, you need to be prepared for criticism. There were situations when I was directly told that I was doing wrong. Basically, it was when I myself understood inside that I was doing something wrong. Therefore, after adequate criticism, I boldly changed course. nine0003
Plan
To achieve something, you need to set a goal and build a plan to achieve it. Otherwise, it is simply impossible to assess the degree of your success.
At all smart goal-setting trainings, it is standardly advised to write 3 plans for yourself: for a year, for 3 years and for a more distant period of 10-20 years (here the readings differ). While you are writing this, you are putting your “head in order”: you are evaluating how much the things that you want right now will help to achieve what you have outlined in the long term. At this time, you understand what you can refuse, and what is really important. nine0003
If you look at a smaller scale, then you need to start with a plan for the day: a clear list of tasks with priorities helps to properly allocate time and discipline. Then it turns into a plan for the week and so on. I really like to write by hand, so I make work plans for the day the old fashioned way - I write a to-do list in a notebook. But with longer periods, this does not work out - it is more convenient for them to use electronic means (for example, boards in Trello).
For planning time, a calendar is simply an indispensable thing (no matter how trite it may seem). Moreover, it is important to use the same calendar for both work and personal meetings and events. Otherwise, you risk never getting to training or to the theater. nine0003
Be ready for change
Agile development methodologies, in particular, agile, have been very popular in IT over the past decade. Exactly the same must be applied in everyday life and always be ready for changes.
You can plan everything well and clearly, but there are things that are beyond our control. At one point, the situation can change radically, and you should not be afraid to throw out your old plan without too much thought, sit down and write a new one. For example, when I was a 2nd year student at MIPT, I dreamed of becoming a developer. That is why I entered the ABBYY Department of Image Recognition and Text Processing, and then came to work for the company.
However, after a year and a half, I realized that I was much more attracted to the work of an analyst, and decided to change everything. For me it was not particularly difficult, because. at the departmental classes, we were told in detail about the process of product requirements management in general and the specifics of this process in ABBYY. But still, the changes in daily activities are significant - instead of writing code for a particular feature, you need to think about what kind of feature you need. nine0003
Of course, there are much more unexpected retrainings: a pathologist who got tired of his job and decided to become a programmer, or a physicist who started acting in the theater. These are all stories about how a person realized that the past choice was no longer so good, and decided to change.
"What's wrong with women?"
Many men I know ask me this question. And then they add: “On the contrary, it’s easier for you! He went and smiled - and all the problems were solved by themselves.
But that doesn't work! nine0003
It's easier when you are valued by the company for your professional level, regardless of gender, skin color, nationality, etc. When they respect human relations in work and trust each other. This is exactly what we have at ABBYY.
In our world, everyone has already learned how to reasonably assess the professional level of colleagues, so one smile will not help. On the contrary, a person will be treated more biased if he is used to solving work issues in a similar way.
Unfortunately, such prejudices in IT are widespread not only among men. For example, when I, being a programmer, registered for a conference, the girl who issued me a badge asked me to give my name, surname and position. I happily said: "Olga Titova, programmer." In response, she laughed "at a good joke" and again asked me to name my position. When I repeated the word programmer, she was very surprised and noticed that I didn’t look like a programmer at all. She couldn't explain why.
nine0003
Another story happened very recently. Discussing with a friend, who also works in an IT company, the appointment of a relatively young man to a top position, I complained that at such moments I was upset that so far I had achieved so little. And in response, I saw her surprised face with the question: “How long have you been measuring achievements with men ?!” It was even somehow embarrassing to say that from birth. In my experience, often in the initial stages, a woman needs to work at least 2 times harder than a man, proving her abilities to others. And only after a woman has earned authority, they begin to communicate with her on an equal footing. nine0003
To sum up my story, I would like to appeal to everyone - both men and women.
Don't be afraid to develop and do what interests you, whether you "look like a programmer" or not. And do not hesitate to change the world around you and explain to others why the phrases from the series “Why should a woman build a career?” and “Why explore uncharted territory and take risks?” not appropriate.
