How to date someone on instagram

How to DM on Instagram & Land a Date

Sex + Dating
Dating

By Dana Givens

Published on 9/16/2016 at 5:10 PM

Oren Aks/Thrillist

In this world of Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Black People Meet, TrumpSingles, and good ol'-fashioned Facebook, dating is a digital maze. Simple things that used to work -- flowers, actual dates, and chivalry -- are dying trends. That doesn't mean the dating game is a complete failure, mind you -- you just have to get a new battle strategy.

An increasingly popular digital come-on is the use of direct messages (DMs), usually on Twitter and Instagram. And there's a great chance of success -- so long as you execute this strategy properly.

I'm almost three years into a successful relationship with a man who initially approached me with DMs… so I can attest to their effectiveness. But my boyfriend did it being cute and sweet -- not by coming on too strong or acting weird and creepy. Here are some essential do's and don'ts so you actually have a shot with that Instagram hottie whose pictures you've been stalking for weeks (but act like you haven't, it’s fine).

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Keep the thirst to a minimum

There is nothing more desperate than someone repeatedly sending the same "Good morning beautiful" or "Hey big head" message to you (sometimes every day because you didn't text back). Everyone knows you copy-pasted that to every other person on your top-10 list.

I get it: this is your chance to get your online crush to notice you. But keep the thirst to a minimum and play it cool. Instead of the generic openings, try to approach with a bit more swag -- or better yet, just keep it casual.

See if you have mutual friends

This is a pro tip that can make things go in your favor and ease into the conversation better. When my current boyfriend approached me on Instagram, the first thing I did was go on his page and see if we had any mutual friends. It turned out we did -- and it became easier to open up because I had another friend to verify who he was.

We live in a world where people can be scammed by fake profiles on a daily basis and this tactic is a great way to see what they're like and move it from an online crush to an actual date.

Standing out can be accomplished simply by having the decency to talk to someone like a human being.

Understand you're not the only one in their inbox

A person's inbox can be anywhere from an empty desert to a crowded nightclub with dozens trying to buy their way into VIP. Chances are good that if your crush has more than 10,000 followers, you're not the only one hoping to get a reply. So while you don't want to come on too strong, you also need to ensure your message (singular on "message") stands out from the crowd.

This is easier than it seems -- oftentimes, standing out can be accomplished simply by having the decency to talk to someone like a human being and not just your Instagram or Twitter wet dream. Say hello, admire their work, ask some unobtrusive but friendly questions that aren't totally boring. Let things develop from there.

Don't go for a social media ho

This is probably one of the most critical pro tips because we see it all the time. While there's nothing wrong with approaching someone you like online, there's nothing worse than falling for a social media ho -- someone who takes his or her promiscuity to the streets of Facebook and Instagram. They're the ones posting selfies of their breasts, yet have Maya Angelou quotes in the captions. Or the guys who can't seem to find a shirt for any picture on their timelines. These people use their social media accounts like Tinder -- and you'd be wise to beware the messiness!

To put it simply, if you want romance to happen you've got to take this person offline.

Use the DMs to initiate an in-person meeting

I know a lot of us have become accustomed to communicating through our apps. But the art of casual conversation -- and the importance of chemistry -- can't be created on a social media platform. Your DMs should eventually lead to you meeting with your crush in person; or at least lead it into a phone conversation.

If you stay in that space and go straight for the kill, it can make a person feel like just a fast hookup. It's best to do this after the initial conversation when you feel that you're both comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers.

To put it simply, if you want romance to happen you've got to take this person offline. Look at social media as the introduction; it's up to you to take them out of the inbox and on a real date. Now that you have the keys to success on how to get a date with your online crush, it's up to you to successfully slide right into their inbox and make it a home run.

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Dana doesn’t slide in anyone’s DMs but she does enjoy traveling and going on real dates with her boyfriend. Follow her adventures on Twitter and Instagram.

5 Instagram Dating Tips & Hacks For Guys [That Really Work!]

With over a billion active users worldwide, Instagram is one of the most popular social networks - and it’s also a goldmine when it comes to meeting women.

But using Instagram for dating requires some finesse - there’s no swiping, so you have to work a little harder to make her interested.

Don’t worry - from getting your profile “date worthy” to how to start a conversation with a girl you like, these 5 Instagram dating tips have the actionable advice you need to jumpstart your dating life!

Table of Contents

Optimize Your Instagram Profile For Dating
Set Your Profile To Public
Be Strategic With What You Post
Master The Art Of The “Follow”
Slide Into Her DMs Like A Pro

Starting with…

#1: Optimize Your Instagram Profile For Dating

Your Instagram dating strategy starts with a profile that makes her want to meet you IRL. Unlike Tinder, there’s no mutual opt-in to match scenario, and you’re also targeting women who aren’t necessarily thinking of you as boyfriend material - yet.

Your profile needs to catch (and keep) her attention long enough to shift her thoughts in a more romantic direction. And if you’re interested in a girl who has many followers, the best approach to starting a conversation with her is making sure your profile is worthy of her notice.

To fully optimize your Instagram profile for dating, let’s break it down into three components:

Profile photo
Username
Bio

Instagram Profile Photo Tips

Creativity and Instagram normally go hand in hand, but don’t get too wild with your primary photo when you’re using Instagram for dating.

The human brain tends to find simple images more attractive than complex ones - and that’s advice you can apply to your primary photo on any social media platform where you want to appear more likeable, from Instagram to LinkedIn to Tinder.

For maximum attractiveness, make sure your primary profile photo has a low cognitive workload. In other words, it instantly “pops”:

Since you want her to start thinking of you as dating material, rather than just someone cool to follow, pay attention to what your profile pic is signaling.

Everything from the clothing you’re wearing to your facial expression, body language, and what’s in the background contributes to her overall impression of you.

For instance, let's say you choose a primary photo taken indoors with poor, unflattering lighting.

A photo like that could unintentionally signal that:

You don’t get out much
You don’t care about the impression you’re making
Hanging out with you probably wouldn’t be that much fun

On the other hand, choosing a photo where you’re outdoors, smiling and looking straight at the camera signals that you’re confident and happy - two very attractive qualities in a potential date.

Not sure which photo should be your primary profile pic? Check out these dating photo tips!

Our dating experts spent thousands of hours testing and compiling the very best tactics to attract high-quality women. Access this actionable intel for free!

Instagram Username Tips

Instagram usernames must be under 30 characters, and to be effective you want it to actually mean something. A meaningful username resonates more, and that instant connection is essential whenever you’re using any social media platform for dating, whether it’s Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

People tend to find simple language more appealing, so if you want more likes, simplicity is key. Choose a username that’s instantly understandable, with no random characters.

Want more username ideas? Check out these great username examples for guys!

Instagram Bio Tips

When you’re trying to attract women on Instagram, it’s helpful to think of your bio like your brand - you want to sell yourself, but in a low-key, subtle and attractive way.

The perfect “I’m here for dating” bio on Instagram includes 3 key pieces of information:

Your location
Your occupation
A few hobbies and/or accomplishments

#1: Location

Location is a key factor in deciding whether someone is dateable, and if she’s getting DMs from all kinds of random guys, yours will stand out more when you’re literally in her neighborhood.

#2: Occupation

Providing your occupation gives your bio more heft, and if you describe your job in a way that’s impactful, it will be even more attractive.

For instance, let’s say you work for the EPA. Instead of just writing something rather boring, like “I test water,” make it impactful. She’s much more likely to connect with a description like this:

“I help make the environment safe for the animals you love.”

#3: Hobbies/Interests

Listing a few hobbies has multiple benefits. You could spark a connection over a shared interest, and you’re giving her a glimpse of your daily life. It’s also a subtle way to highlight qualities she may find attractive in a partner.

When she reads that you’re into hiking, kite boarding and surfing, she’ll also likely form the impression that you’re adventurous and physically fit.

Yoga is another interest that pulls a lot of weight - not only does it imply fitness, the word itself implies mindfulness, dedication and an interest in overall health. All attractive qualities in someone you’re dating, right?

You can also frame hobbies as goals, like “training for my next marathon,” “getting my SCUBA certification,” or “perfecting my shrimp ceviche recipe.”

When you’re writing your bio, think about the kind of woman you’d like to attract, and tailor your choices accordingly. You only have 150 characters, so make every word count.

#2: Set Your Profile To Public

If she can’t see who you are, why would she respond to your DM?

And to look even more legit, you can also try to get a verified badge . A verified profile will work better, so if you can get the badge, it will help you secure more quality dates.

Of course, that’s a big IF. Much like Tinder verification, Instagram verification badges are generally given to public figures, celebrities, and brands. But it can’t hurt to try.

To verify your profile on Instagram:

Log in to the account you want to verify
From your profile page, tap the 3 lines in the upper right corner.
Tap “Settings”
Then “Account”
Then “Request Verification”
Provide the requested information and upload a photo of your ID

Requesting verification is no guarantee that you’ll get it, you’ll just have to wait and see.

#3: Be Strategic With What You Post

The first 6 to 9 “above the fold” photos will generally form the basis of her first impression, and typically have the most impact on her decision to follow you back or respond to your message.

When your IG is good, it gives you a lot more perceived value. The more value she thinks you have, the more likely she is to show up for the first date.

So how do you build up your perceived value? Strike a balance between posts and good stories.

You can be more "dateable" on Instagram by posting pictures that:

Show off some of your hobbies, interests & passions
Represent your goals and ambitions
Depict your adventurous side
Bring a smile to her face (think adorable animals)
Amp up your social value (i.e. group shots)

When you’re choosing what content to share on Instagram, consider cycling through these 5 themes:

#1. Smart

Share something you’re passionate about, or have a lot of expertise in. The opportunities here are endless - content could include something you’re reading or learning about, fixing your car, tackling a DIY project, trying a new recipe, etc.

#2. Determined

Give her a taste of your goals and ambitions. Examples could be a future vacation or relocation destination, going through a positive body transformation like losing weight or training for a marathon, or even an arena or other venue if you’re an aspiring musician.

These posts can be taken off the Internet, just add captions like “My goal for the next 2 years” or “I’ll be playing here in a few years, watch me”

#3. Adventurous

As the name implies, these are your “action” shots. Physical hobbies and interests like hiking, biking, paddleboarding, scuba diving, sky diving are Insta gold when you’re using it for dating. This is also the spot in your posting sequence where you’d incorporate travel shots.

#4. Animals

Researchers have found that when you take a photo with a dog - any dog - people viewing that photo will perceive you to be not only more attractive, but more relaxed, happy and approachable as well. That’s a pretty big incentive to post some puppy pics.

And pet ownership in general demonstrates that you’re both responsible and loving/caring, two qualities that are fairly high up on most women’s “must have qualities in a boyfriend” list.

Besides, there’s a reason animal pics abound on the internet. People just can’t resist a cute one, and taking advantage of that will give her a reason to keep coming back to yours.

#5. Social Value

This is where you demonstrate that you have a lot of social currency - interesting friends who want to spend time with you, and plenty of exciting things going on in your life. You don’t need to post a ton of group shots, just sporadically enough to make the right impression.

In addition to group shots, you can also use pictures of you with a member of the opposite sex. Just take care not to always make it the same girl, for instance if one of your best friends happens to be one. If your Instagram gives the impression you’re already in a relationship, your latest crush will probably wonder why you’re DMing other women.

No matter what picture you’re using, adding a small caption to each post makes it more relevant to you. That in turn makes you seem more genuine and authentic, and building up both attraction and trust is key to getting her face to face with you.

Use the filters and photo editing tools to do things like add saturation to make the colors pop a little, or adding brightness. Don’t go too crazy, though, if you’re in the photo.

These are dating photos now, and heavy edits can be a turn off.

And it should really go without saying, but whenever you’re posting a picture you’re in - you need to look good. She doesn’t know you (yet), so her emotional investment is low. One mediocre pic could make her move on.

#4: Master The Art Of The “Follow”

Getting a woman you’re interested in dating to follow you back is the equivalent of matching on a dating app like Tinder.

Having a lot of followers makes you seem like a stronger prospect, because it’s an indicator of your “social proof.” You’re interesting enough for all those people to follow, so maybe she’s missing out by not.

Regularly rotating through the 5 themes you just learned about will help make your Instagram follow-worthy.

Now that you’ve overhauled your Instagram profile to reflect your goals, you’re ready for the fun part - finding women you’d like to date on Instagram!

How Meet Women On Instagram

Step #1: Make a list of places in your city that you enjoy going to. Then navigate to their IG page, go to their followers list and locate any women you might be interested in meeting.

Alternately, tap on “Places,” then enter the name. You will see every post of other people who tagged that venue as their location.

Being a fan of the same place not only establishes something you have in common with her, it can also make the perfect first date suggestion down the road. Proposing a place she’s already familiar with can make it a lot more likely she’ll agree to meet you there.

Step #2: Engage with the profiles of women who intrigue you. As you’re checking out the list of followers, go into the profile of each woman who catches your eye. “Like” 2-3 of their most recent pictures (preferably the ones with the least amount of likes), and one picture that does not actually include her.

Then follow her. All this activity will show up in her News feed and hopefully notice you.

Repeat for anyone you’d like to meet, and assuming you followed the rest of the advice in this article, some of them should follow you back.

have the option to unfollow any women who don’t follow you back or respond to your message to keep your ratio balanced.

If she does follow you back on Instagram, making a funny comment on one of her stories is a great way to start a conversation. It is relevant and already on her mind since she recently posted it.

#5: Slide Into Her DMs Like A Pro

Don’t try to start a conversation on Instagram by commenting on her physical appearance. That rarely works, even on Tinder.

Instead, there’s no better way to elicit a response than DM’ing a reaction to a girl’s Insta story. Researchers have found people post photos and videos on social media because they want both attention and a response.

Here is where that works in your favor: giving her the validation she’s seeking in the form of a “like” or a comment releases dopamine in her brain. You just literally made her feel good, and you’re handing her the feedback she’s craving from posting the story in the first place.

Exactly what you say in your first DM will depend on what you’re commenting on, so each situation is unique.

You can also use matching on a dating app as a reason for DM’ing her on Instagram. But stay away from using it as a second chance with someone who swiped left on you.

Commonly known as Tindstagramming, breaking this Instagram dating rule is annoying to many single women because they didn’t swipe right for a reason, and generally aren’t thrilled when you pop up on another platform.

Instagram Dating Opener Examples

But assuming you matched on Tinder or Bumble, start the conversation on Instagram with an opener like these:

Instagram Opener #1:

Hey [NAME], I know I’m breaking the rules of Bumble by messaging first, but we matched & thought I’d say hi since I rarely check it.

Instagram Opener #2:

Hey [Name] 👋 We originally matched on Tinder but I took a break from the app so thought I’d say hi here 🙂

Immediately send a follow up message asking her a question, as that’s the easiest way to give your response rate on any dating app a huge boost. Not only does it make coming up with an answer a lot easier for her, you’ve also given the conversation a direction to go in.

Ask about something in one of her recent posts, or say something like, “So how is that little red app treating you so far?” (Substitute ‘yellow’ if you matched on Bumble).

Let her content inspire your questions, or if you’re still coming up blank check out these examples of good questions to ask a girl you like on a dating app.

Know That You Know

How To Use Instagram For Dating…

The question is, should you?

There’s no question that using Instagram to meet women is rapidly growing in popularity. But there’s one big downside - if you don’t already have a strong IG presence, it may not be the right choice for you.

Instagram is build-as-you-go, not like a Tinder profile that you can create all at once. Building an attractive Instagram presence requires posting photos for months, and even years, and building up your social capital.

Anyone checking out your Instagram can immediately see your follower count, whether or not anyone comments on your posts, etc. It’s basically a glimpse into both your social media and your social life, and that’s hard to fake if you aren’t already an avid user.

If you’re hoping Instagram is going to magically work where apps like Tinder and Bumble failed, why not save yourself the frustration and let VIDA Select’s team of modern dating experts help you out?

Thanks to VIDA’s years of online dating experience and expertise, you’ll be meeting incredible local single in no time. And the best part is you don’t have to worry about anything - your profile, photos and even all your messaging is handled by pros!

If you’re ready to go on dates with quality singles who were hand-selected because they meet all your “must have” criteria, it’s time to bring in VIDA. It’s easy to see if you qualify for our modern dating service - just go here!

How to meet a girl on Instagram

Dating sites are losing ground. Now, in order to start a dialogue with the girl you like, it is not at all necessary to fill out a detailed questionnaire, indicating gender, age and intentions only for a serious relationship. If on dating sites beautiful girls are forced to “fend off” a crowd of annoying fans looking for one-night stands, dating on Instagram is perceived differently. That is why your chances of inviting a stranger you like for a walk around the city or to a cozy cafe are much higher. nine0003

Instagram is one of the most popular platforms where you can get acquainted with the girl you like - whether it's a cute blonde or a curvaceous brunette. Almost all of the fair sex have an active account on this social network. However, it is not always possible to get access to the profile: after all, it can simply be closed and available only to friends. Find out how to meet a girl on Instagram: we have collected proven tips especially for you.

How to get acquainted on Instagram: important rules

1.

Profile photos that work for you

people for theirs. Of course, bright pictures taken in a professional studio cannot but attract attention. Passing off another person as yourself, you run the risk of “losing”: if communication with a girl reaches the point that she wants to see her in real life, “expectation-reality” can greatly upset her. nine0003

Even if you are not a professional model or sportsman, you prefer front-facing shots rather than working with a photographer, try to choose normal photos. A categorical “no” - pictures with a naked torso (you risk immediately demonstrating all the “seriousness” of your intentions), with friends, memes and movie characters on the “avatar”.

Your main task is to attract attention, so make sure that the quality of the photos is appropriate, and not the same as if they were taken with an old soap camera. nine0003

And that's not all. If your Instagram profile has pictures confirming how much you love to relax with friends after work in a pub (especially when drunk), what conditions you live in (now we are talking about elementary order, and not about the fact that photos should be taken exclusively in the cottage). You shouldn't post a "selfie" every 2 hours - it's better to post fewer posts that will interest the girl you like, demonstrate your status and character, than a bunch of posts of the same type. nine0003

2. Posts are your visiting card

Before liking the photo of the girl you like, see if your profile contains information that will be of interest to the chosen one. Instagram is not only a photo platform. Here you can add posts, discuss interesting topics (it is desirable that this was not just another fishing trip with friends).

What to write about? Everything is individual: if you are engaged in investments, tell your subscribers about your successes or share profitable strategies. Do you like literature and cinema? Great: post a few posts about paintings and books you like. The main thing is not to “replay” and alternate entertaining content with useful content. nine0003

Instagram has an interesting format called stories. These are short videos that you can post unlimited. However, they only last 24 hours. "Flight of fantasy" is not limited - tell us about yourself, hobbies, interests, share your favorite tracks. So you can not only “declare” yourself more, but also impress the girl you like with openness and sociability.

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Another important point: profile description. Remember: no philosophical quotes that look more like posts from Vkontakte publics. Enter your name, age, city, interests, or education. Ideally, if you post a “hook phrase” in your account, so that the chosen one can start a dialogue with you herself. Do not forget to attach links to social networks: the girl will make sure that in front of her is not a fake. nine0003

3. Remember: no lies

It's no secret that most girls would prefer to see a purposeful guy with a beautiful figure and a high income next to them. But there is one “but”: ideals simply do not exist. What we see in the picture on the Internet may turn out to be just a “dummy” in real life.

In order to get the attention of a lady you like, you should not start with a lie. This is a losing strategy. Believe me: there are enough "millionaires" and "masters of sports in boxing", who concurrently live in 3 countries, in social networks. This will immediately alert the girl. nine0003

Talk about your accomplishments, but don't exaggerate them. And if you don’t like the current state of affairs yourself, before you start dating Instagram, work on yourself. Believe me: it’s easy to get rid of extra pounds by attending workouts and adhering to proper nutrition, if you wish, you can change your unloved job for a profitable hobby. Everything else is just excuses.

4. Forget the formulaic phrases

Classic tricks like: “Hello, beautiful, will we have some time tonight?” long out of fashion. Any girl will perceive such a message negatively: believe me, they are forced to read such SMS almost daily. If you are aimed at adequate communication and an interesting dialogue, it is better to refuse hackneyed phrases. nine0003

But there is another side of the “coin” – when a guy wants to get a girl's attention so much that he comes up with an original message. In the "move" are pictures with bouquets or hearts from emoticons. And this is the worst option, some guys just lose the edge of reason.

You can always find a clue in a girl's profile. You see a lot of pictures from the ski resort and you yourself are an ardent fan of skiing? Great: you already have a reason to start a dialogue.

5. “She is so alone”

When meeting a girl on Instagram, it is important to show that you are only interested in her person and are not ready to consider other options (even if this is not the case). It is very important to find an individual approach in order to show the chosen one that "she is so alone."

It is not at all necessary to open a search engine and try to “google” biographical facts. Everything is much simpler than you think: carefully look at the photos and read the posts. In personal communication, hint at her exceptional features that you could not find in any other person. nine0003

Remember the "golden" rule and do not allow "pussies", "babies" and "bunnies" in the dialogue. “Zoo” has not been relevant for a long time: such communication characterizes you as a “stupid pick-up artist” who could not come up with anything better than cliched phrases. Personalization is very important here - it greatly facilitates communication. Try to call her by her first name (unless, of course, it is known). The girl will be pleased that you address her by name. This will help create a warm and trusting relationship between you.

Keep in mind that each of us loves an individual approach. If you just compose a universal message for dating on Instagram, you risk being left with nothing. nine0003

6. A photo is your "everything"

Nothing can characterize a girl like her photos on Instagram. Pay attention to the profile: there are a lot of photos from the beach - in front of you is a lover of traveling to warm countries, from the gym - the chosen one clearly takes care of her body, monitors her diet and is definitely not on her way with a lover of fast food and beer restaurants.

Look at the photo - it will help you come up with a topic for conversation. If your hobbies are the same - you hit the "bull's eye". nine0003

7. First message

The most difficult thing is to write the first message and get the girl interested. Do not "line" long "tirades" praising the beauty of the girl. Here you have two options - come up with a "message" yourself and show originality, or follow the standard scheme.

Some guys are embarrassed to write first and are afraid that the direct message will go unanswered. It is important that an attempt to get acquainted does not look like a tackle. The original option is to respond to the stories of the chosen one, comment on her post from the point of view of an expert (for example, she wants to go in for sports, but does not know where to start, and you are a coach in a sports club). nine0003

You can also use the classic scheme. From the banal "Hi!" better to refuse. After reading such a message, three natural questions will appear in the girl's head:

Who are you?
Why did you write to her?
Why are you interested in her?

These three questions will help you compose your message. But remember that it should not be too stretched. Do not forget to say hello and introduce yourself (but not by the name "Vitek", as friends often call you, use "Victor"). The desire to communicate is a normal excuse to start a dialogue. However, you should not "intimidate" the girl and say that you are aiming for marriage or creating a family: you know too little. nine0003

We have already said that the photo in the profile of the chosen one will help to get to know her better. If you noticed a recent photo from your favorite concert on the girl's Instagram, feel free to ask questions. Most importantly, show that she is not just another lady to whom you send a pre-compiled text, but a unique one.

Successful examples

Nice compliment

– Anya, good evening! I stumbled across your Instagram page by accident and was fascinated by your charming smile. How do you look at starting communication outside the Internet? nine0003

- Hi, thanks, but no, I don't trust people I meet.

- Anya, you can go to my profile, there is quite a lot of interesting information about me and what I do. You won't be able to learn so much about a guy you don't know who comes up to meet you on the street :).

– I'm sorry. I thought you were just another pickup artist. I see that you also have a dog, and we live not far :). How do you feel about taking a walk in the park together tomorrow afternoon?

- Excellent. My number is “…”, write your phone number.

Common hobbies

– Marina, good evening! I accidentally stumbled upon your profile on Instagram, looking for beautiful pictures using the hashtag "France". I saw that you are also from St. Petersburg and were in Paris this summer. To be honest, I love this country very much. Can I ask you a few questions about the trip? I run my own blog, I publish stories of travelers (you can go to my page). By the way, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Vadim. nine0003

– Vadim, hello, nice to meet you!!! I'm glad my photos are of interest to you. Ask, I'll try to answer.

– How do you feel about meeting in the cafe “…” and personally sharing your impressions, getting to know each other? I could tell you some interesting itineraries in France.

– Why not? I finish tomorrow at 5 pm. This cafe is right next to my work. Dial me: number "...".

Let's sum up

It's easier to meet a girl on Instagram than on a dating site. If you managed to start the dialogue correctly, the chances of an answer are quite high. But what to do in the case when the girl answered? nine0003

The most important thing is to show her the seriousness of your intentions. Long correspondence is not the best option. If you see mutual sympathy, feel free to take a phone number or make an appointment.

How to meet a man on Instagram

Every person in the world dreams of finding a soul mate. But to find a loved one you need to get acquainted, and not everyone knows how to do this. You can get acquainted with a young man by walking in the park, shops, clubs and taking steps yourself, or you can wait for a beautiful blonde to come up to you and invite you on a date to the cinema. But, even the reaction to this proposal may be different for everyone. Even if you dreamed about this case in your heart, then at a crucial moment you can get nervous and refuse, saying something unintelligible. But there are those who easily agree. nine0137

The Internet comes to the aid of those ladies who do not know how to communicate properly live. Online dating is very popular these days. There are various dating sites, social networks and even multiplayer games in which people, oddly enough, are also looking for a mate. All these things are popular because it is psychologically easier to communicate in writing without seeing the interlocutor. It is easier for him to tell something, or to refuse some request. There is no eye contact on the Internet, this is its feature. Virtual communication removes barriers such as time limits. You will have as much time to think over your answer as you need, because you cannot constantly sit and monitor with a keyboard. But dating and communication on the Internet does not change all communication dramatically. Communication remains communication. nine0137

First steps

The first thing you need to do to get acquainted with a guy on Instagram is to add it to your account. It is desirable that it is not compromising, and does not put you in an awkward position in the process of communication. Choose a nickname, you can be funny and original, but so that it is clear that you are not a little girl who wants to have fun purely. You can choose an official nickname, or just write your name. Most importantly, write well. You don't need to write "BlanDinnkO" or something like that, and you should also not use clogged nicknames, such as "Princess" or "Goddess". Such nicknames are more likely to scare away people who do not directly know you. nine0003

Indicate all the information that you consider important, and put a beautiful photo on the avatar or stock up on such photos for the future, as you will be asked to “open your face”. It is worth noting that if you refuse to send your photos and withhold all information about yourself, while counting on a relationship, be prepared for failure, because guys also do not like the unknown. Men love with their eyes, so they just need a visual representation of who they are communicating with. nine0003

In no case should you look too prim or too depraved in a photograph. That is, if you post a photo where you are lying on the bed in your underwear, then men may like the photo, but they may not want to communicate with you. Serious people will prefer to call you a too windy young lady, and if they don’t endow you with some unflattering word, then it will be fine. You don't have to look accessible to everyone. Now there is a trend that drinks in the frame, such as "Jaguar", are also not appreciated. So with all the things that fall into the frame, be careful. Do not post photos of the same type or from the same place. You may get the impression that you are either a very limited person, or you are photographed everywhere and you have a mania for selfies and other types of display of your persona. nine0003

If you have a slim figure or long hair, you should show these features in your photo. This will be a big plus for you. The male audience will definitely appreciate this and you will be much more likely to pick up a handsome man.

Second step

After creating your profile and setting it up, download the Instagram client to your phone or computer, depending on what you plan to communicate with.

After that, in the same place, on the site, scroll down the page and find the "Chats" subsection, in it click on the "Dating" link. nine0003

A simple form will appear on your screen, completing which you will discover a list of clients worthy of consideration.

In the "gender" column, change the settings to "male", in the "age" column, select the range you are targeting. We set the country according to your priority, but be prepared for the fact that Instagram is not a Russian development. And if you select Germany or Australia in the "country" field, then the possible audience may not know Russian at all. But if you are ready for all the complexities of long-distance relationships with a foreign man and know the language, then you can start experimenting with other countries. nine0003

It is worth noting that you may be confused that some people with Russian nicknames will appear both when you select Russia and when you select China. Do not be afraid, such people most likely do not have the “country” and “city” columns filled out.

So, we select candidates. It is desirable if you do not get hung up on one young man, but pick up several contacts at once with whom you would like to at least communicate.

It is worth remembering that not everyone is ready to start talking to you right away, someone, perhaps, in general, has a jealous girlfriend or wife and she stands above her soul and reads all the messages of her missus. Perhaps with someone you have other reasons, nothing will work out. Some people just might be dishonest. Be careful that half of the seekers in the face of guys are looking for a one-night stand and it is very difficult to figure out such a person right away. So do not be shy and choose by photos, by nickname, by names and other facts that are known from the contact. nine0137

Step three

Now the most difficult part begins, after you have reviewed the available data of all candidates for communication with you, you have chosen people whom you would like to see in your contact list, open the messenger application.

We are typing the first message. We are immediately preparing for the fact that if you fail, then do not despair and become depressed. You should tune in to a positive wave, because the one who seeks will definitely find.

First of all, we choose 2 or 3 people with whom we are ready to start communicating for a relationship, and 1 or 2 with whom we can make friends with the next possible development. nine0003

We start communication, preferably not with the usual “Hello. How are you?" or "Hi, I'm Sveta and I want to meet you." Come up with something better. The original short rhyme is fine. For example, the first 2 lines from Fet's poem "I came to you with greetings ..." are quite suitable for that lady who wants an intellectual young man. From the first lines it will immediately be clear that the person you were hoping to see, or perhaps not the one, but at least not completely contrary to your expectations. nine0137

Step four

Communication on Instagram itself should not stress you out. If you communicate with a guy like a fish in water, then everything is in order. But if a guy is rude to you, or swears, and you are not ready for this, end communication with him. You should not expect that he will improve, and he will communicate normally with you if you get to know each other better. This is the Internet, people here, if they feel free, then they also communicate. Accordingly, they are here in the chat, as they are, well, at least in terms of their behavior. nine0003

If they're lying here and you know they're lying, then they're lying in real life too. On the Internet, of course, you can pretend to be someone else, but you won’t be able to maintain a guise for a long time, because it’s emotionally difficult. So people on the Internet are what they really are.

You shouldn't lie about yourself in conversations either. Remember how in Dragunsky's story "The secret always becomes clear"? It makes no sense to lie that you studied at Harvard, work as a marketing director at Gazprom and that you are 16 years old. If you set up a relationship on a lie, then get ready for the fact that sooner or later they will collapse like a house of cards, and this will be the most inconvenient moment for you. nine0003

Find a common topic of conversation. It can be tourism, games, news, books… Carefully read what your partner writes. If he makes gross mistakes in a letter, do not rush to correct and criticize him, even if you are a philologist by training. In turn, watch your speech, write correctly and clearly. If you come across a competent guy, he may not be as tactful as you and end the conversation with you after the first misspelled message.

When talking about your life, ask your chat partner how they get on with similar situations. This will allow him to talk and set him up for a positive attitude towards you. Compliment during the conversation, but don't go overboard with direct compliments because they look like flattery. nine0003

You shouldn't talk too much about yourself, let alone tell all the ins and outs. Leave a little mystery in every area of your life, don't be an open book. Also, don't talk about other guys or male friends that you are or have been talking to. Don't compare one guy to another in a chat. This, besides being indecent, will also be unpleasant for your interlocutor.

Be a little reserved when expressing emotions. You should not throw off the whole palette of your experiences on the interlocutor. They can be misunderstood, and then it will be unpleasant not only for your interlocutor, but, most importantly, for you. nine0003

Try to be friendly and keep the conversation going. Don't push when you don't like something. Let's say you have finished all your business and want to chat, but the interlocutor is in no hurry to answer your messages, even if he is online. Perhaps he is busy at the moment with some of his own affairs. Respect personal space.

Alternative path from the second step

In addition to searching on the Instagram website, you can find information on social networks or dating sites. People who are looking for their soul mate will definitely indicate all the contacts they have in order to catch the bird of luck by the tail. In addition to this simple fact, such a contact is just a godsend for you. It will be easier for you to learn a little about the person with whom you plan to start a conversation, you will be able to more easily build a greeting, and decide whether you need to get to know him at all. nine0003

If you find information with an Instagram profile on the Internet, be sure to read everything you can, look at the photos. Try to identify possible common interests, or places you have also visited. At least something that could be mentioned at the first conversation. For example, if a young man indicates that he loves a particular film, take the trouble to read about it, at least a review. After that, you can already write him as a welcome message that you would like to see this movie, because there are a couple of pluses that you learned about from the reviews. nine0003

But you would like to know more about it, because you are choosing from two films that are approximately the same in your opinion. You found out that he likes this one better and so you decided to write to him and find out why this film is better.

Believe me, such a story will play into your hands, you have already created a legend, and started communication, and asked for a detailed answer, expressed your interest in this person, showed that someone else's opinion is important to you. You become an interesting chat character who is a pleasure to deal with and just chat with. nine0137 Conclusion

Communicating through Instagram, you can find not only your soul mate, but also good friends. If everything worked out for you, and you found what you were looking for, then do not drag out faceless written communication via the Internet.