How facebook affects our relationships


10 Reasons Why Facebook Ruins Relationships

”Having a conversation with a partner about your online lives and expectations for communication can help address any current concerns and avoid future conflict." - Nicholas DeFazio, MRC, LPCC-S, LICDC

Social media has become commonplace over the last ten or so years. Whether you are a Facebook type of person, or maybe Instagram or Twitter, you understand how easy it is to get sucked into a social media feed for hours at a time. Facebook, like all the other social media sites, isn’t the culprit for ruining relationships, but it is a tool that will ruin relationships if used in the wrong way. Having the ability to connect with people all over the world is still a relatively new technology, and we’re still trying to figure out, as a society, how to use it well. There’s nothing inherently “wrong” with Facebook, but it can lead to big fights in relationships and has even been known to cause divorce.

The next time you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed, think about your intentions for using the social media site. Are your intentions good and kind, or do you use Facebook for a sneakier type of game? Here are ten reasons why Facebook can ruin relationships.

1. Seeing Other Couple’s Posts Can Lead To Jealousy

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More and more people lately have been talking about how social media doesn’t show the real, whole person through their posts. Someone can post a loving photo with their partner onto their Facebook page, but their friends have no way of knowing if the couple is in a good place or if they were fighting right before the photo was taken. And when you’re going through a rough time, it’s even easier to feel like your life is terrible compared to your friends and what they post online. Even though you know its only part of the story, you get jealous over the trips other couples are taking or how sweet one partner is while your partner has been too busy to do something nice lately. Comparison then leads to under-appreciating what you already have.

2.

From what they ate this morning to the fight they had with their partner – nothing is off-limits. Facebook makes it easy to rant when you’re angry, complain when you’re upset, and seek sympathy from others. But when you overshare on personal matters between you and your partner, your partner might not appreciate it very much. Or maybe it’s your partner that overshares, and you are the uncomfortable one. 

3. Couples May Spend Too Much Time Scrolling Instead Of With Each Other

Facebook can be a major time-waster. There is nothing easier than passively scrolling through a feed looking at text posts, memes, pictures, and life events. Before you know it, you could have spent hours just scrolling on Facebook. If you feel a little distant from your partner, check your social media habits. Maybe you can cut back how many times you check Facebook during the day.

  1. Facebook Can Lead To Temptations For Affairs

Cheaters will always find a way to cheat, but Facebook does make it easier to find and chat with people outside of your marriage or partnership. Maybe it’s an old flame that sent a friend request or an acquaintance who happens to be a little flirty over Facebook messenger and if you aren’t careful, innocent messaging or friend requests can turn into full-blown affairs. It’s always a good idea to be selective about who your friends are, no matter how innocent you might think you are being.

4. Facebook Can Cause Relationship Anxiety

Partner ‘A’ loves to post pictures on Facebook. They take many photos with their partner during their travels and everyday life. But partner ‘B’ isn’t much of a Facebook person. They have it and will sometimes comment or like on friends’ posts, but they rarely interact with partner ‘A”s posts. Partner ‘A’ is getting anxious. Does my partner love me anymore? Why won’t they like my posts? They comment on everyone else’s photos, why not mine? Do they care Partner ‘A’ loves to post pictures on Facebook. They take many photos with their partner during their travels and everyday life. But partner ‘B’ isn’t much of a Facebook person. They have it and will sometimes comment or like on friends’ posts, but they rarely interact with partner ‘A”s posts. Partner ‘A’ is getting anxious. Does my partner love me anymore? Why won’t they like my posts? They comment on everyone else’s photos, why not mine? Do they care at all about me anymore? This is just an example of how Facebook can lead to relationship anxiety. Facebook also allows you to update your relationship status on your profile. If one partner wants to make it “Facebook official,” but the other doesn’t, that can lead to concern as well.

5. People Sometimes Think Facebook Can Replace Real Intimacy

Speaking of posting cute photos, couples can easily use social media to replace real intimacy in the relationship. They’ll post photos all the time or tag each other in posts on their birthday with a sweet message on how much they love their partner. They may even message back and forth through messenger – flirty messages and sweet compliments. But outside of the internet, the relationship has fallen stagnant. Real intimacy happens face to face. Just because you can post nice things online doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for saying them in person as well. The internet is not a replacement for real conversation and quality time.

6. One Partner May Use Facebook More Than The Other

How often a person uses Facebook can be a point of contention in relationships. One partner spending a lot of time on Facebook can leave the other partner feeling ignored or left out. It’s common for couples to fight about how much time they spend on their phones. When it’s so easy to open an app and scroll through a Facebook feed, it’s that much easier to ignore your partner who is sitting right next to you.

7. Partners Read Too Far Into Each Other’s Facebook Posts

When a partner is feeling insecure about the relationship, that partner might choose to look at Facebook to try to read into how their partner is feeling. They might see a few likes on an attractive friend’s photos, or maybe read into a text post that makes them seem unhappy, and then jump to the conclusion that their partner wants out of the relationship. It’s so easy to spiral into assumptions based on a few interactions that someone had on social media. And because they’ve jumped to a bad conclusion, this partner doesn’t want to come right out and ask if it’s true for fear of the relationship being over. So, they keep stalking their partner’s Facebook and hope things somehow turn around. This is no way to live and leads to unnecessary amounts of anxiety.

8. Some Couples Use Facebook To Show Off Their Relationship

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Facebook can also be a place to brag when things are going well. And the bigger the event, the more likes and comments the posts will get. This can be a major ego boost that couples might keep striving for. They’ll start doing things precisely for the attention it brings them on social media. But “doing it for the like” can only bring you so much happiness. Eventually, you will want more, and only real interaction can give that to you.

9. Some Partners Either Keep Their Passwords Secret Or Have Secret Profiles

Trust is a major part of any relationship. So, if one partner doesn’t want the other to have the password to their Facebook account, it concerns to think that lack of trust could follow. A their Facebook account password, partner A will rightly assume that partner B is doing something they don’t want them to see. The flip side to this has a secret account altogether. Whether it’s under a fake name or is hidden well, using social media out from the watch of a partner is very suspect. Hiding passwords or profiles is usually a sign of cheating.

Facebook isn’t the real enemy to relationships; bad decisions are. You can choose whether to use Facebook for its original intention – to connect family and friends – or you can choose to use it to cheat or hide things from your partner. Your choices don’t make the site “good” or “bad.” The site is. What you decide to use it for will determine the fate of your relationship.

If you are experiencing anxiety or fear because of your partner’s Facebook use, or you and your partner are fighting a lot because of Facebook or any social media, consider asking a counselor for help. To get started with ReGain, please visit ReGain.us/start.

Ask Your Partner For Consent to Post

A healthy relationship is based on communication. If you consider child development, how children learn to resolve conflict is through talking with each other. Little kids don’t have Facebook profiles like adults do. Let’s remember child development when we talk about adult relationships. If you read articles about relationships on Psychology Today, one of the current themes is communication. Remember, in relationships being open and honest is crucial. It’s better to talk face to face then it would be online with your partner. Whether you’re an associate professor of psychology or a layman to the field, you know that it’s crucial to talk to your partner. Communication can demystify any uncertainty you have in your connection with your significant other. When it comes to Facebook or any social networking site, it’s important to ask your partner for consent on what to post if it involves them. 

You don’t need to read an article on Psychology Today to know that respecting your partner’s voice is essential. Facebook is harmless fun if you use it in a way that promotes that virtual environment. You don’t want social networking to put a damper on your relationship. Make sure your partner feels considered before you post something. There are different levels of Facebook usage. Some would say that others are addicted to social networking. When you post something online, your friends on Facebook are reading what you write. Some people turn to social networking to learn about style beauty, food drink, or celebrity gossip. Many different networking sites can give you this information. What you do in bed can put a damper on your relationship if you reveal these intimate details online. If your partner is okay with what you’re saying, that’s one thing. But if you don’t ask them, that’s another story.

When it comes to what you post on Facebook, it involves your significant other, and your partner needs to be considered. With regard to relationship status, people can argue about when to make their love Facebook official. That’s something that you and the person you’re daring need to decide. That could be one of your goal setting markers in your relationship. If someone doesn’t want to be Facebook official, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. This could be an issue if both partners aren’t on the same page. It’s important to ask your partner if it’s okay to post that you’re “in a relationship” on Facebook.

Don’t Fight Online

In a healthy relationship, people talk in person about major issues. People who work in academia don’t want their students to see a squabble with their partner online. Imagine an associate professor fighting with their spouse and college students seeing it. That’s not a good thing. It’s crucial to avoid talking about serious problems with your partner on social networking. If you choose to engage in that behavior, it can come across in a way you didn’t mean it. There are articles on Psychology Today that talk about the usage of social media in relationships, and how it can make fights escalate. You can read about these concerns. Be mindful of what you post, and when you feel angry walk away from the screen, Whether your partner is reading it, or Facebook friends see it, there is no tone in the text. It’s better to discuss emotional matters in person. Social networking is a place to connect with family, friends, and new acquaintances. There are people who will diagnose people because of the way they behave online. If you’re struggling with a particular issue such as infidelity, you don’t need people on Facebook to see what you’re struggling with, and instead, you can read articles on psych central or Psychology Today regarding cheating.

Treat Your Partner How You Want to Be Treated

On social networking sites, everyone in your friend circle can see what you’re posting. If you’re fostering a healthy relationship, you want to maintain a good connection. Work on goal setting with your partner in terms of how you want to be treated. There are many articles online about relationship issues and how social media can impact you and your partner. You can search Psychology Today and find a plethora of articles about these issues. You’re not sure if you can trust them. On Psychology Today, there are tips about how to develop trust in your relationship. It’s crucial to work on trusting your partner if you want them to believe you. You want to treat your partner how you would like to be cared for in the relationship.

Be respectful of them, and ask if they feel comfortable with you posting something that affects them. Some college students have posted things about their relationships, or other people’s partnerships, that has put a damper on relationships. Their online behavior affects their relationship with their partner. Facebook friends don’t need to see everything you’re going through with your significant other. Some people live a screen free existence, and that benefits their relationship. You may have trust issues with your partner. You’re worried that if you don’t check out what they’re doing, it could lead to detrimental outcomes like cheating. These are matters you can talk about with a family therapist. It can put a damper on intimacy if you’re talking about personal matters on social networking sites.

High levels of Facebook usage can lead to depression. If you look to social networking sites for emotional validation, it’s a recipe for disaster. One reason is that you compare yourself to other couples. Some clients have told therapists intimate secrets about obsessively checking Facebook to see if their partner is cheating. You can work on learning positive psychology to make sure that you are engaging in healthy online behavior. You can read about positive psychology in Psychology Today. Facebook can cause major relationship issues.

Facebook affects relationships. Sometimes it’s for good, and other moments it can be detrimental to these connections. If you hurt someone with something you post, it’s important to acknowledge. Maybe you don’t see how Facebook affects relationships, because it hasn’t happened to you. Sometimes there are posts that come across offensive to your partner, your relationship, or others online. Facebook has affected too many relationships because of hurtful posts. There are some instances where you can’t control how others see you. For example, some individuals will diagnose people with disorders personality related, when the internet isn’t an appropriate place for that. Only a licensed mental health professional should diagnose and treat a person. Even if you’re a therapist, you shouldn’t be diagnosing someone who isn’t your client, and certainly not based on their social networking posts! A social network isn’t a place to treat mental health issues. Nevertheless, you have control over what you say or don’t say. Remember that your online footprint can not only impact your current relationships, but further romantic interests to come.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can Facebook ruin relationships?

If the 10 ways Facebook can ruin relationships in the article above are something that you relate to, you know that Facebook can highlight relationship problems for facebook users. It’s not generally Facebook itself that leads to the demise of a relationship. Usually, the platform just highlights something or gives way to a possibility that’s already there. When people make a Facebook account initially, it’s with good intentions most of the time. We often make and keep social media accounts because we want to stay in touch with others, such as those we went to college with, friends and family, and even acquaintances that we’ve known for most of our lives. Social media is beneficial when it comes to this. However, things can turn sour in some cases.

Why is Facebook bad for relationships?

Facebook can spark jealousy. You may see your spouse or partner liking pictures posted by mutual friends, or you may find yourself comparing yourself to the other people on your feed. Social media can also affect relationships sex and family life in the sense that it is a distraction. One way to make sure that your relationships sex and family life don’t suffer due to social media is to limit the amount of time you spend on Facebook and other platforms. Keep track of the amount of time that you’re logged on and be sure to prioritize real-life connections.

Additionally, it’s imperative to notice when social media is impacting your mental health in any way. If you struggle with eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or another mental health condition, you may find that triggering or unhelpful content shows up on platforms like Facebook. Although this is not the case for everyone, if it’s useful for you to do so, it’s important to acknowledge when triggers show up and log off. If you are struggling with a mental health condition such as bipolar disorder, eating disorders, or depression, it’s important to reach out to a mental health provider.

Why does social media ruin relationships?

Jealousy, comparison, and lack of trust can ruin relationships. Social media just happens to run the risk of amplifying those things. It gives us a greater chance to compare ourselves to others. Even if those people are friends and family, social media can make it look like someone’s life is perfect. in the case of relationships, you may find yourself comparing yourself to someone who looks like they have the “perfect relationship.” This can be damaging. You may start to project the idea of a perfect relationship onto your partner, making your partner feel bad about themselves or making your partner feel like they aren’t good enough in your love connection. If social media impacts the way you view yourself or your relationship, it might be time to take a social media break.

It can be challenging to initiate a social media break if you’ve never done it before and struggle with social media addiction. The best idea is to deactivate your account so that you’re not tempted to log on. You may find that you get closer to the people in your life when you deactivate social media. It forces you to talk to them directly instead of checking their page to see how they’re doing, which will give you a more accurate perception of their life and a heightened sense of closeness.

How is social media affecting relationships?

As stated above, social media can breed jealousy and comparison, both of which can affect mental health and relationships. Social media obsession is another thing that can impact relationships. If you’re obsessed with social media, you may find yourself distracted from areas of life that you’d like to be more engaged in, including romantic partnerships. Social media addiction is a very real thing. What social media addiction is, is excessive use of social media that feels compulsive. You may feel dependent on it and even start to feel emptiness or withdrawals when you don’t use it.

Both in a new relationship and committed relationships, issues can arise if every detail of your relationship becomes public domain. If you vent about you and your partner’s arguments through Facebook statuses instead of working through things with them, not only will it take an opportunity away from you and your partner to work through an issue, but it will also give all of your friends and family the ability to form opinions and comment on your personal life publicly. This pattern can get messy and interfere with a relationship fast, so it’s important to stop it before it starts to meddle.

How do I stop Facebook from ruining my relationship?

First, limit your use of the platform. Think about why you’re on Facebook and why you made your account in the first place. Is there a reason to keep your profile? Do you have old friends or classmates you’d like to stay in contact with, for example? Are you on Facebook for fun groups related to hobbies you enjoy? If so, use it strictly for those things. Don’t compare yourself or your relationship to others, and stop scrolling when the behavior starts. Take concerns about your relationship to your partner directly instead of asking for opinions online, and consult a couples counselor for help if you need to. Additionally, don’t be afraid to deactivate your account if it’s something that could benefit you. Sometimes, disengaging entirely is best, especially if you’re frequently tempted to use social media in an unhealthy way.

Can social media break up a relationship?

Generally, it won’t be social media itself that tears up a relationship. If you catch your partner being unfaithful on social media, the issue is not social media. Instead, it’s the fact that your partner is cheating. There are various ways that social media can impact a relationship or influence a breakup. These include arguments over the amount of time spent on social media, arguments over who you talk on social media, arguments over posts that you make, the tendency to vent about your relationship on Facebook rather than talking about it with your partner, jealousy, comparison to others, and more. Take a look at the roles social media plays not only in your life but in your romantic relationships. Do you a lot of your fights revolve around social media? Do you struggle with excessive social media use or feeling like you’re addicted to social media? If you answered yes to either of those questions, it’s probably time to take a break from social media platforms like Facebook and potentially seek help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.

What is the disadvantage of Facebook?

Sometimes, people say things online that they wouldn’t say in person just to get a rise out of others. For example, a troll might make sexist comments about not understanding women or sexualize a woman in a way that’s unwanted by the woman. People might do things for shock factor or start arguments just to start them. That’s only one potential disadvantage of Facebook and other social media platforms, however. Other potential disadvantages of Facebook are comparison, envy, feeling like you aren’t good enough or attractive enough, and having a place to keep virtual tabs on your exes and their lives, which can make it hard to get over a past relationship. In romantic partnerships, social media can start fights. For example, if your partner struggles with jealousy or not feeling like they measure up to others, and they see you liking someone else’s picture, they may get jealous or angry. Additionally, someone could cheat using social media. These are examples of ways that social media can bring underlying issues to the surface.

Does social media create unrealistic expectations of relationships?

On social media, you will find an abundance of unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations aren’t just perpetuated by celebrities or influencers, but also by people you know in real life. For example, you might notice people posting pictures where they look perfect when, in reality, they are photoshopped. Relationships are comparable to this phenomenon. Although you can’t necessarily Photoshop a relationship, you can post only the best parts of it; the “highlight reel,” if you will. People don’t post about the mundane nights spent in front of the TV, and most of the time, they don’t post about disagreements. Instead, they post vacation photos and work or life accomplishments. Publicizing innocent arguments instead of talking about it with your partner can be an issue in and of itself, but regardless, they are part of the whole picture in real life. It’s easy to forget that we might not be seeing the whole picture of someone else’s life, especially if they work to portray the image of a “perfect” life or relationship. When you look at social media, just know that there’s so much that can be going on behind closed doors and that it’s not an accurate representation of anyone’s life.

How many relationships fail because of social media?

It’s hard to say how many relationships fail because of social media specifically be because if they fail and social media is the catalyst, there’s usually something else going on, such as cheating. It just happens to be found out on social media. However, some professionals say that Facebook has become a dominant cause of separation in marriages. You don’t need to get off of social media entirely if you know that you have the potential to use it healthily and want to keep your account. Just be aware of how you’re using it and how it’s affecting your mental health and relationships. Remember to spend time off-line with your loved ones and stay aligned with your real-life values. If you’re concerned about your personal social media use or the effect it is having on your relationships, whether those are friendships, familial relationships, or romantic relationships, it’s important to seek the help of a mental health professional. Search for a provider online or in your local area to find the best fit for you.

What are the things you should avoid when you're on Facebook?

How Facebook Affects Our Relationships

1 Fox, J., Warber, K. M., & Makstaller, D. C. (2013). The role of Facebook in romantic relationship development: An exploration of Knapp's relational stage model. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(6), 771-794. doi:10.1177/0265407512468370

2 Weigel, D.J. (2008). A dyadic assessment of how couples indicate their commitment to each other. Personal Relationships, 15, 17-39.

3 Backstrom, L., & Kleinber, J. (2013). Romantic Partnerships and the Dispersion of Social Ties: A Network Analysis of Relationship Status on Facebook. Proceedings of the 17th ACM Conference on Computer Supported Cooperative Work & Social Computing, 831-841.

4 Dainton, M. (2013). Relationship maintenance on Facebook: Development of a measure, relationship to general maintenance, and relationship satisfaction. College Student Journal, 47(1), 113-121.

5 Steers, M. N., Øverup, C. S., Brunson, J. A., & Acitelli, L. K. (2015). Love online: How relationship awareness on Facebook relates to relationship quality among college students. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, published online before print. doi:10.1037/ppm0000067

6 Papp, L. M., Danielewicz, J., & Cayemberg, C. (2012). ‘‘Are we Facebook official?’’ Implications of dating partners’ Facebook use and profiles for intimate relationship satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15(2), 85-90. doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0291

7 Fox, J., & Warber, K. M. (2013). Romantic relationship development in the age of Facebook: An exploratory study of emerging adults' perceptions, motives, and behaviors. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 16(1), 3-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0288

8 Fox, J., & Warber, K. M. (2014). Social networking sites in romantic relationships: Attachment, uncertainty, and partner surveillance on Facebook. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 17(1), 3-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0667

9 Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Interpersonal surveillance over social network sites: Applying a theory of negative relational maintenance and the investment model. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, published online before print. doi: 10.1177/0265407514568749

10 Muise, A, ChristofidesM., & Desmarais S. (2009). More information than you ever wanted: Does Facebook bring out the green-eyed monster of jealousy? Cyberpsychology & Behavior, 12(4), 441-444.

11 Fox, J., Osborn, J. L., & Warber, K. M. (2014). Relational dialectics and social networking sites: The role of Facebook in romantic relationship escalation, maintenance, conflict, and dissolution. Computers in Human Behavior, 35, 527-534. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.02.031

12 Clayton, R. B., Nagurney, A., & Smith, J. R. (2013). Cheating, breakup, and divorce: Is Facebook use to blame? Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 16(10), 717-720. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0424

13 Elphinston, R. A., & Noller, P. (2011). Time to face it! Facebook intrusion and the implications for romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 14(11), 631-635. doi:10.1089/cyber.2010.0318

14 Emery, L. F., Muise, A., Alpert, E., & Le, B. (2015). Do we look happy? Perceptions of romantic relationship quality on Facebook. Personal Relationships, 22(1), 1-7. doi:10.1111/pere.12059

How do social networks affect relationships?

Photo
Getty Images

Swendolyn Seidman, Ph. D., works at Albright College (USA).

Bonuses

Easy first dates. How to recognize a partner if you just met? Go to his virtual page. Social networks will tell us about interests, lifestyle, circle of friends and even the temperament of a new acquaintance.

“Many couples use Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) as a platform for first dates, bypassing face-to-face meetings. And very soon, faster than in real life, they understand whether they want to continue communication. Due to the fact that we do not meet in person and the emotional involvement is not so high, the social network makes parting easier if one of the parties is not ready to take the relationship to another level,” says Swendolyn Seidman, who studies social media behavior . nine0009

Common circle of friends. The couple easily integrates their relationship into a common circle of friends. This gives everyone the opportunity to feel like an important part of their partner's life. Interestingly, depending on how the common “friends” are distributed, one can also make an assumption about the status of the relationship. An important indicator is not the number of mutual friends, but areas of life. In other words, if Mike is a friend of Mary, and Mary turns out to be a friend of his fellow students, colleagues, and family members, then most likely Mary is Mike's wife or girlfriend 1 .

For men, the relationship status in social networks is just a way to show that his partner is not free

Strengthening our connection. Those of us who position ourselves on social networks as a couple in love are more satisfied with the union. Women who indicated they were "in a relationship" in their status and posted avatars of themselves and their partner also rated themselves as happier than those who avoided it. “It’s worth remembering that these posts do not automatically make us closer to each other,” says Dr. Seidman. “This is just an opportunity to express your feelings.” nine0009

Cons

A different view of the status "in a relationship." Women attach more importance to it. Its presence seems to many of them to be proof of the seriousness of the chosen one's intentions. For men, this is often just a way to show that his companion is not free. This difference in relation to status entails many conflicts, disappointments and even breaks.

Jealousy and self-doubt. Friends of a partner with whom we do not know personally sometimes make those of us who are prone to jealousy worry. And although the relationship of a lover with "friends" of the opposite sex in most cases is formal, the space of social networks can exacerbate feelings. Psychologists say that the more time we spend on a social network, the more we put relationships at risk. nine0009

“The site gives us the opportunity to connect with people from the past, including former ones,” says Svendolin Seidman. “However, Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) is not in itself to blame for the resulting jealousy, but only exacerbates problems that already exist.”

1 D. Weigel “A dyadic assessment of how couples indicate their commitment to each other, Personal Relationships”, March 2008.

Text: Sabina Safarova

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How Facebook quietly influences our decisions

  • Tom Chatfield
  • BBC Future 9007 5 9007 9008 June 2016

    Sign up for our newsletter "Context": it will help you understand the events.

    Image Credit, iStock

    Reviewer BBC Future reflects on how you can quietly change the minds of users of the most popular social network and the largest search engine, showing carefully selected news. nine0086

    Today it is difficult to imagine life without information technology. But the fact that someone else's computer programs are influencing our decisions is a growing concern.

    And just recently, on top of everything else, something from a seemingly long-gone past: some people whom we do not know select events for us, deciding for us what is worthy of our attention and what is not .

    As it turns out, Facebook uses a team of editors to select the news that users will or won't see. nine0009

    • Is Facebook biased in its selection of news
    • Facebook of the dead, or social networks as a digital graveyard
    • How we are manipulated online manage people, the problem in this situation with live editors lies precisely in the lack of a transparent algorithm.

      The most controversial accusation is that the selections of the most current topics on the site are anti-conservative, while conservative news and opinions are not given enough attention. nine0009

      However, the company itself vehemently denies such accusations.

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      The tech news outlet Gizmodo first brought up the subject in March, citing two reasons why it could be compromising for Facebook, even if we don't find any political overtones. nine0009

      First, the presence of hired editors hurts "the illusion of an unbiased ranking of news stories."

      Secondly, the treatment of "news section curators" is not much better than that of software.

      They do not receive clear instructions and must be guided by the vague concept of "popular news", while complying with rigid quantitative norms.

      However, in this case, it is not so much manual selection of news and ideological bias that matters, but the fact that the most influential platform for information exchange can choose what users see at will. nine0009

      Facebook and similar resources are able to filter news and information using general headlines like "popular news" or criteria like "relevant", and most often users have no idea how the selection process works.

      And this is very important, because even a slight change in the way information is displayed can affect our behavior.

      Image copyright, iStock

      Image caption,

      Facebook editors have been found to have control over how news is displayed in users' feeds

      To understand how this is possible, consider the invention of behaviorists (psychologists who study human behavior) "nudge" technology, which is widely used by governments and organizations around the world.

      It consists in imperceptibly suggesting to a person how he should behave.

      A good example is the presumption of consent to organ donation. It means that the removal of organs requires not the consent of the person, but the absence of a written refusal. nine0009

      This presumption alone is enough to significantly increase the number of donors.

      What's wrong with that? Well, for example, critics of this technology note that it deprives people of the possibility of an informed choice.

      In an article for the Institute of Art and Ideas, journalist Nick Harkaway argued that the purpose of "pushing" is not to explain a particular issue and adjust politics to the will of the people, but to bring the will of the people into compliance with the desired policy. nine0009

      "Choice is a skill, a habit, even a slight change in the architecture of the brain. And it takes practice to hone it," he says.

      How is this technology applied in the digital world?

      Exploring the online space, we are constantly faced with a choice - from what to buy to what to believe.

      And information technology professionals can influence the decisions we make.

      It is worth recognizing that it is not only Facebook that sins by filtering information. The craze for artificial intelligence, all kinds of gadgets and the Internet of things arose largely thanks to smart recommendation systems. nine0009

      Neither Google, nor Apple, nor Amazon neglect the technologies of personalized presentation of information.

      But all of the above is not so much a matter of confrontation between man and machine, as of informed choice and pushing towards the "right" choice.

      Having the most relevant information, we make the best decisions - this is one of the fundamental principles of information technology and at the same time one of its most important advantages.

      The Italian philosopher of technology Luciano Floridi, author of The Fourth Revolution, describes this process with the term "ethical construction" ( pro-ethical design ).

      By this, Floridi means providing balanced and clear information that encourages the person to consciously make an important decision and take responsibility for it.

      Floridi is sure that information systems should not counteract, but encourage people to think about the ethical side of a particular issue. To do this, it is necessary to avoid excessive "pushing".

      There should be no presumption of organ donation: let people make their choice consciously. You should not impose ready-made answers on what is relevant to anyone: let users think for themselves, ask questions, and thereby improve the system. nine0009

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      Image caption,

      We have no idea how effectively we are being influenced by technology

      There are fundamental tensions here: between convenience and consideration; between what users themselves want and what is best for them; between transparency and commercial advantage.


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